🙤♔🙦
"Bitter Reflection"
December 21st
🙤♔🙦
December 21st
I used to believe faeries were figments of others' imaginations.
I used to believe faeries were frightening creatures.
My sister used to read me faerie tales when we were younger. While I never believed in the small beings, the stories written about them always did fascinate me greatly. The fact that they lived in tree trunks or within flower petals, the fact that they were the mere size of hummingbirds, and that, despite their size, they contained great power.
With everything that has transpired recently—the cases that I have come across, the people I have lost and nearly lost, and the people I have found—I have often found myself thinking about those faerie tales more often.
And in this very moment, I believe a faerie has graced me with her presence. Or, rather, a faerie in the guise of a human.
It is admittedly quite difficult to explain. I, myself, am unsure of what I am rambling on about, but the one who has journeyed with me during these uncertain times, the one who has never left my side, may very well be a faerie in this realm of human beings.
She shares many characteristics with the creatures, most notably her short stature, but she always approaches others with good intentions. When they wrong her, however, she becomes a fireball that isn't so easily put out.
"Shirleigh," a voice called out to me. "How are you faring? Everyone else inside wants to know, too."
Even now, she reaches out to me with the care of a true friend.
I notice how she is always genuine with her words. Rather than asking if I am doing alright or if I am feeling okay, she always asks how I am doing, because after all that has occurred in just a short amount of time, a person like me would not be "doing alright" or "feeling okay". And even though I would rather not tell her how I am actually feeling, she is often able to deduce my mental and emotional state. I suppose that if I am a detective of crimes, she is a detective of emotions. Our world requires more like her.
I turn to face her. She looks up at me with emerald eyes, a hint of concern behind them.
Being outside in the snowy weather has made my facial muscles stiff, but I hoped that I managed to smile at her in return, telling her that I was all right at least in this very moment. I was growing used to smiling.
She smiled, and it warmed me like a beam of sunshine.
Whenever I found myself in a dark place, she knew exactly when to come around, and those negative thoughts and feelings all seemed to melt away.
"It's freezing out here," she told me. "You should come back inside. We don't have to go back to the flat if you prefer not to. We can spend some time in the lobby if you want."
My sister had the lobby decorated with large fir trees and strings of multicoloured lights. She never misses an opportunity to decorate, especially for the holidays. Especially for my birthday.
We made our way to one of the few sofas that were placed intentionally along the walls. I have seen many characters upon them in my time staying here. It was difficult not to think back to how simpler things were a few years ago. If they truly were simple.
"You know," she fell onto the sofa, and I took a seat beside her. "We have only known each other for a few short months, yet I feel like we have gone through way more than anyone ever should in a lifetime."
She had leaned forward, holding her head in her hands as she watched the residents traverse the marble floor.
It was remarkable, just how much we had seen. But I think the part that stunned me the most in the moment was the mention of how much time we spent with one another. It had, as she said, only been just a few months, but it truly felt like we had been doing this for years.
"I can't fathom what my life would be like if we hadn't met," she mused, then burst into laughter. "And to think my serial killer friend brought us together!"
I chuckled, her infectious laughter rubbing off on me. It was warm and sweet, much like how I imagined a London Fog to be, but I realised that I had never tried one.
"I was in a dark place when I came here," she continued. "And even though we have seen some horrible things, I feel like I can handle them better than I would have if I were alone, when alongside you."
"I feel the same way," I admitted. "I feel stronger with you by my side. With you, I feel like I am able to reach my full potential...as a human being."
When I turned my head to look at her, I found her staring back at me with glossy eyes; the lights danced in her irises. A faint blush dusted her cheeks, making her appear warmer than usual. I stifled a laugh.
"It is amusing how little it takes for me to make you flustered," I teased. "People are going to get the wrong idea."
Her face burned brighter, and her words slurred together as she angrily threw them at me for my remark, her accent as thick as molasses.
I used to believe faeries were figments of others' imaginations.
But there very well may have been one alongside me this entire time.